I remember as a kid giving my Dad a hard time for not getting on our half broke horses. I didn’t understand why he’d just say that he was too old for that when it seemed to me at the time that there was nothing to it; just hop on that hot mare or punchy pony and hold on tight while they buck around a bit at the start or shake the dirt off and get back on again if they manage to toss you. Nothing to it, right!
BUT, now that I’m grown and the days are long I GET IT. As much as I love horses, I am also too old to get on a hot horse. And my mare, Brandy, she is smoking! Being left to her own devices and becoming her own boss has turned her into a horse that I am no longer young enough, brave enough (or maybe it is foolish enough), to get onto.
Logan and I bought Brandy a year into dating. A few people have since told me that when they heard that Logan had bought me a horse they knew we would eventually be getting married. She was a symbol of the commitment we were making to each other. There are many memories tied to that horse and I love her and will always remember her fondly. Deciding to sell Brandy was tough, for the sentimental reasons but also because it meant I had to finally admit to myself and to everyone else that I am “too old” to be getting on a hot horse.
As much as I don’t want to admit it, I know that if I get tossed into the dirt, I won’t be jumping right up again and brushing the dirt off ready to get back on. Concussions, shoulder surgery, and having two babies has made me a scaredy-cat. I know what my Dad meant when he wouldn’t go riding with me as a kid because he was “too old” .
Maybe I’m not the brave and wildly determined cowgirl I was as a kid. But hopefully we will always have a horse around to love on. Right now we have the sweetest mini pony that makes my heart burst with pride to see Avery learn to ride on. And the fact that Brandy is going to a home with a family who can handle her and a girl who is young enough to want to ride the challenging horses makes me happy.